HOLIDAY GREETINGS: DON’T FEEL BAD IF YOU FEEL SAD!
Being a bit of a rebel, I never liked anyone telling me what to do or how to feel! Particularly Hallmark Cards and designated days when you’re supposed to be happy and celebratory like New Year’s, or warm, fuzzy days where you’re supposed to be in the bosom of your loving family, like Thanksgiving and Christmas (and the various religious derivations on the theme).
I often thought suburban living was a successful Communist plot (remember, I grew up during the Cold War when dinosaurs and Bolsheviks roamed the street threatening Democracy!). We’d watch Leave It To Beaver and Father Knows Best and knew, in our heart of hearts, that our family was definitely not that! Everyone else’s obviously was, so we lived in quiet shame that we had a defective family. But we were supposed to act normal and celebrate whatever holidays were advertised that month. The fact that we weren’t happy, that we were lonely, that our families were stressed out places particularly during the supposedly festive holiday times…that was our secret. Everyone else, obviously, according to advertisers and card makers, were joyously celebrating! Shhhh…. family shame, family secret.
When I finally came to “consciousness” during the 60’s and realized that most everyone’s family was weird, and holiday season was usually a somewhat anxious ordeal to get through for most humans, I gave myself permission to NOT be happy when I didn’t darn well feel like it.
And the public distortion of reality, more normally referred to as “Social Media,” where everyone is just thrilled with life! Got married! Had a baby! Bought a Porsche! Lost 30 pounds! Where every apartment is huge and has a sixteen-foot Christmas tree adorned with just ohsoadorable trinkets…. give me a break. Instagram-view of reality. Not real. True life edited with a touch of a button.
And now we come to this particular holiday season when we’re supposed to be out there celebrating that we’re freed from the isolating grip of COVID! Woops, mistake. We’re not. Yet another variant, with a name that sounds like an old Japanese monster movie, has emerged. Add to that the truth that most of us are first acknowledging the trauma of the last few years and have not yet reconnected with lost friends, lost family, lost Self…it’s just hurtful to pretend as if we’re supposed to be in a totally celebratory space. I believe most of us are just tired. Psychically exhausted. Spiritually squashed.
So, my holiday wish for everyone is to let yourself be. Don’t feel bad if you feel sad. So many people do, you are not alone. Take care of yourself in whatever way feels right for you…not the Hallmark Masses. Allow yourself quiet. Allow yourself a good cry. Allow yourself patience. And, always, hope. Let hope be your season’s gift to yourself. I know it will be mine and I have enough to share…